Neighbourhood Watch

It had been a quiet day in Gotham City. I had done the rounds of good works, a bowl of soup here, a good word there, nearer to home  an old lady helped across the road. I was settling down to translating  the Iliad from Greek into Sanskrit when there was a  fevered  knock on the door. I opened. There stood a weeping and hysterical maiden with an equally distraught youngster on her hip. With them stood young Zack.

It was the  nanny and the two children from next door. Something was wrong. I could tell. I gave them my xray stare. She calmed enough to tell me that a bird had got into their living room. A bird. A living bird. I knew  what that meant. It was the Joker in disguise. Wait one moment.

I ran  to the cellar and put on my special Krypton  flaked boxer shorts. No Joker was going to terrorise my next door neighbours. Stand aside lady we will soon have you back  in your home making clothes for the boys at the front.

Through the tears I could see she was beginning to smile. Sadie the girl looked in astonishment as I flew from the pavement onto the roof and down the chimney.  Zack,brave as always fighting back the tears,  cried Good Luck.

I burst  into the living room. The Joker aka  Black Bird was caught by surprise. He made a move. He flew towards me his black wings flapping. I stood my ground. Not since the Garden of Eden had Good faced Evil so squarely.

 Not so fast Joker your days of terrorising innocent folk are over. Ha he cried I think I have you as he  flew around the room. I stood my ground. I used all the will power of the planet Krypton to force the Black Bird aka Joker to  bend to my will. The squawking bird flapped and spat. The man in the boxer pants refused to bend.

Slowly but surely I forced open the French windows. I could feel the iron tendons at the back of my neck ripple and nearly burst with the effort. It was done. I was exhausted but the Joker had no choice. He flew out crying You have not seen the last of me.

I turned to the nanny and the children. He wont be coming back.  She looked at me,is there anything I can do for you, she implored. I tousled her hair, go  and have a good life and  always remember to send thankyou letters at Christmas. I was gone. My neighbours were safe and I had time to split an atom before my wife , Superwoman, came back from the shops.

Based on a true story. Some of the names gave been changed.

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4 Responses to Neighbourhood Watch

  1. annorton9@aol.com says:

    Happy birthday, Superman! I laughed! A x
    Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

  2. itwonthurt says:

    No mountain too high, no bird too fierce as long as I am wearing the Krypton flaked boxer shorts.

  3. Emma H says:

    The little H’s are telling everyone about this. A super hero in their eyes always. Even the young maiden nanny was very impressed and she’s an Aussie so is used to butch showings of bravery. Viv, shd say superwoman, is a lucky lady!
    Sleeping safely now in Putney

  4. itwonthurt says:

    Shucks it was nothing, I only did what any Superman had to do, sleep well for the guardians never do,

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