OK the national health is good for you. Treatment on demand, doesnt matter what language you speak, just turn up. When I went I n for my scan I asked the dusky gentleman I coming out the iron lung, did it hurt? The equally dusky male nurse said he couldn’t speak any English. Fine. Way to go.
And if the NHS is so good for you, so good at keeping the nation healthy how come so many people working for it are fat, fat , fat. On my last trip I would put at least one in three seriously overweight and many on the super heavy, I’m obese super slug class. Is it part of the selection process, come work in fat city, come where size doesn’t matter as long as you are a saint. Or is an indication of a no blame, no shame, don’t care attitude?
Take the elephant woman who was taking my blood pressure before and after. There were obvious reasons why the poachers had let her be. She blobbed for Brit an. But the Joker asked how long she had been working at the hospital. Three years . It was her f irst job, she had really wanted to be a veterinary nurse but there weren’t any jobs. So she is taking my blood pressure instead of giving pooch his anti worm jabs and neutering little Felix. Great.
Then there was the doctor ex Guys who had played front row as a lad and now wouldn’t fit into many. But he earns enough to buy two seats on Easyjet. He shared the name of a well known footballer but on the day he did the biopsy he had put the suckling into pig. By the time we got round to how incompetence was rewarded in the NHS he reminded me that with his cattle prod up my arse I had better watch my lip. OK fat boy, you win.
On the way out the hippo in reception was complaining that her three fruits as part of her five a day were not totally agreeable. Her normal sized colleague agreed and added that the only time apples were acceptable were when they were crushed and alcoholic. Health education indeed.
And just to make me realise that its not what we do its what we say that counts, as I got on my bike three uniformed nurses were behind the MRI scanner wagon having a cigggie. At least they were tipped.