Fat City

OK the national health is good for you. Treatment on demand, doesnt matter what language you speak, just turn up. When I went I n for my scan I asked the dusky gentleman I coming out the iron lung,  did it hurt? The  equally dusky  male nurse said he couldn’t speak any English. Fine. Way to go.

 And  if the NHS is  so good for you, so good at keeping the nation healthy how come so many people working for it are fat, fat , fat. On my last trip I would put at least  one in three  seriously overweight and many on the super heavy, I’m obese super slug class. Is it part of the selection process, come work in fat city, come where size doesn’t matter as long as you are a saint. Or is an indication of a no blame, no shame, don’t care attitude?

 Take the elephant woman who was taking my blood pressure before and after.  There were obvious reasons why the poachers had let her be. She blobbed for Brit an. But the Joker asked how long she had been working at the hospital. Three years . It was her f irst job, she had really wanted to be a veterinary nurse but there weren’t any jobs. So she is taking my blood pressure instead of giving  pooch his anti worm jabs and neutering little Felix. Great.

Then there was the  doctor ex Guys who had played  front row as a lad and now wouldn’t fit into many. But he earns enough to buy two seats on Easyjet. He shared the name of a well known footballer but  on the day  he  did the  biopsy he  had put  the suckling into pig. By the time we got round to how incompetence was rewarded in the NHS he  reminded me that with his cattle prod up my arse I had better watch my lip. OK fat boy, you win.

On the way out the hippo in reception was complaining that her three fruits as part of her five a day were  not totally agreeable. Her normal sized colleague agreed  and added that the only time apples were acceptable were when  they were crushed and alcoholic. Health education indeed.

And just to make me realise that its not what we do its what we say that counts, as I got on my bike three uniformed nurses were behind the MRI scanner  wagon having a cigggie. At least they were tipped.

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One Response to Fat City

  1. What’s happening old chum? Sounds ominous or is it precaution? We have a right to know! X

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