Ink Fever

.National treasure David Dimbleby whose father was also a national treasure and his brother is all over the media as his son and ex  wife(we could go,on, dynasties dontcha love ‘em) has had a small tattoo done on his over weight and very pink(bitchy) body. OK he is 75 and at one time  he used to be a near neighbour. Dave,you know me, OK , well f*** you.

Any way to tattoo or not to tattoo,this is the question, whether it is nobler on the  skin to suffer the scratches and ink of an outrageous artiste or to stay unadorned in a sea of painted heroes. Now David Dimbleby who not only inherited his place in the media but a small publishing fortune is quoted as saying about his £60  scorpion on the shoulder “it’s a dream come true and you are only old once.” Of course if you accept that DD is goin to live to 150 this is part of his mid life crisis or just part of pretending that the obvious is not happening.

OK David ,shall we now call you Dave. Are you also the one who went on about ageism on TV. Well with this tattoo  I think you have made the point about getting rid of those that have past their sell by date . What  kind of mediocrity either says  it’s a dream come true or actually has dreams about  having a tattoo? What kind,? the dullest kind.

Our Dave will obviously soon be seen at an anti hacking rally of lovies to show he believes in a free press. Will no doubt start watching  football on a regular basis to show that he is a man of the  people. Will probably be seen coming out of a night club bleary eyed at 4am with his hand on some lingerie model’s behind. That’s to show he is as young as his tattoo. Soon he will be seen in jeans kissing Joanna Lumley.Pass the sick bag.

The sad thing is that for the past twenty years I have been thinking of having a tattoo done. Ever since I did a story about tattooing and I went to interview the man who was putting on the British Tattoo Festival in, wait for it, Dunstable.Its a suburb of Luton which in turn is famous for having London’s fourth airport and being near the M1.

Famously  I said  how will I know you when I get to the station car park. There he was like Queequeg, the harpoonist in Moby Dick, with added cowboy boots, leaning against a  wonderfully dated  Chevrolet. At the time he was very  into tattooing ladies’ naughty bits and piercing nipples.  He told me all about those who suffer from ink fever..I kept the brochure by my bed for several weeks.

As for that  tattoo. If I ever get it done, it will be a sweet dream come true. Since you ask I would have a butterfly done and Vivien a ying/yang symbol. I have no idea what that is.


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One Response to Ink Fever

  1. charlotte good says:

    Yes, Hugh, pass the flippin’ sick bag … I just love that he has now identified himself as having the HIV virus …. The whole thing is beyond sad. Not the getting of it but the trumpet blowing … who gives a damn?

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