I had the long awaited meet with the prostrate consultant, Alan Thompson,no relation. I have had an MRI, a biopsy, a bone scan. Numerous blood tests . I had already been briefed that the options were loads of female hormones to make the prostate-the sperm machine- get smaller and easier to treat. This would be followed by surgery and or radio therapy.
I knew I had a form of cancer the question was ,was it speading. I had already decided that given a choice I would go for the radio therapy as the side effects of surgery can be dire(incontinence, impotence etc).
So we are wheeled in and hey presto the great man has an attendant student hanging on every word and a nurse in the back ground in case, in case what ? ,I never really worked out.
Any way my namesake tells me that I have cancer,(this I know), it has to be treated(this I know) and I can have surgery and radio therapy or just therapy. Therefore radio therapy on its own is the best plan. This I had already decided. So given that this man is so expensive that the NHS can only afford him one day a week and as we know the world is short of nurses I felt this discussion could have been far shorter than the 40 minutes it took and could have been done on the phone. OK he did show us some inconclusive pictures. So inconclusive that he ordered me to have another X ray. The queue was two hours long ,so another day. The nurse did kindly show us the way out.
So now I have six months of female hormone treatment followed by two months of radio therapy. For the record nothing has happened ,on this or the heart problem, which would have stopped us going away! I am not for instance see the cardiologist until January 8.
Meanwhile these hormones will make my tits grow, my bum expand, make me frightened of spiders ,stroke spaniels, go weepy at the sight of prams and want to wash up a lot. I can expect “if I eat the same amount” for my weight to balloon by two stone.
I have also been told that its unlikely if I did nothing I would die of prostrate cancer,what kind of deal is this? As the old joke went, shut up and keep taking the pills. Now taking four a day.