Tom,His Dick and in a Hurry

Tom Daley queer. Nancy boy on the high board, hardly a surprise. But to play it safe he still likes girls. Might just keep his sponsorship. Who knows ? Who Cares?

But when you look at the pictures of the young lad in his speedos prancing up and down on those boards one can only imagine the desperate sobs coming out the gay clubs of UK and beyond. Oh ,how those queens must have fretted, how they must have sighed. Now he is theirs and if they play their cards right they can even marry him. Someone has got there first but gay relationships, well lets just say, they are as insecure as any other kind of relationship .

Young , so happy, so safe(?) Tom will one day be  back  on the market. Now its love but then it will go -I thought it was for ever but I was too young to make that kind of  commitment, I thinks its important that you sow some wild oats before you settle down. All I want is a proper family, a partner, two dogs and some adopted children. What more could a man want.

But of course there is a personal angle to all this. I swim. About  half of the lane peddlers who swim at the Putney Pool before 9am wear speedos. Or as the Australians so cruelly describe then “Budgie smugglers”. Suddenly all those chaps ,taxi drivers, air line workers, medical entrepreneurs ,lawyers  journalists are suspect. Its no good them saying they wear this kind of trunk for speed ,no way Hose. Who knows, one of  the merman of Putney might be the next who Kylie Minhogie tweets as being “Inspiring and brave”. She is of course  a major  diva on the gay club scenes

 Suddenly the  Putney  Pool cubicles are stalked with fear, will there be a knock on the door,a pathetic, begging “Can we talk”.

However  the star of the piece is toofy Tom’s granddad. Dad died. He says “I’m quite liberal but  I do think he is quite young to be making this decision.” About a serious partner at 19, probably. About announcing your sexuality you are never too young. Most pre nursery classes now offer boys pink wash bags and gym slips for games. If they didn’t they would be sued in later life for suppressing LGBT tendencies.

It is of course one of the unsung merits of the old boarding school. It helped you get this kind of thing out  of your system  miles away from your parents, all under the watchful kindly  eyes of bachelor and understanding masters. Now the lads are forced to be heterosex with all the subsequent problems that young Mr Daley is suffering.

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One Response to Tom,His Dick and in a Hurry

  1. Interesting. As you’ve said, and I have thought the last few days since the story broke – do I care? No, or not too much, but then I and others have to read about this subject far too often, perhaps to overcome an instinctive (prejudiced many will say) negative reaction that this is a perfectly normal human condition and I’d better get used to the idea..On a recent trip to The Netherlands I bought a Sunday paper and the magazine had an article that translates into, ‘Every day’s a daddy day’. Accompanying picture? Two guys with their baby that they had waited 5 years to have. In the by-line there’s the long-suffering complaint – ‘Those hetero’s! They’ve got it damned easy.’
    Our maker is no doubt to blame for it all, not that many believe in Him, so that’s all right.

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