Hollandease Sauce

Hollandeaise Sauce-Can It Kill You?


Poor old Hollande. No sooner has he  f***cked  up France than he finds his own personal life in a bit of a shambles.  But when his missus ,the woman who took him away from the mother of his four children ,threatens suicide we know we are on pretty well trodden ground.

Threatening suicide as a way of  saving the bust  relationship is what we might call the Zurich defence. At least two affairs in our old street were snuffed out in this way. The  lady in blue  telling her man that unless  the lady in red waltzed out of his life  she would top herself. And then he would be sorry, it would be his fault and he would feel guilty for the rest of his life! For the record although the affairs were snuffed the marriages did not survive.

Its so wonderfully immature, its so adolescent, so all or nothing and  in most cases frankly risible. By threatening suicide the woman(and of course sometimes the man) is trying to regain control. She is  trying to displace her hurt onto her would be ex.

What Hollande has to work out ,is she serious(serieux). Is this twice married powerful career woman( gossip driven Paris Match journalist) ,who took over from the mother(mere) of Hollande’s four children(enfants), who has worked  both side of the street ever shown sign of depression and potentially suicidal tendencies. The answer is probably no. She is a big girl(fille) and she of all people must  realise that relationships with revolving doors allow not only easy entrance  but equally facile exit.

He has to sit down and tell her straight. No shilly shally ing  ,as many do, I still love you and I want to be  your friend. Its got to be , this is an adult situation, I wish it hadn’t happened but it has, and its over. As Marcel in Pulp Fiction says, Us?  there is no us, just you and I  going our different ways.

If she is  genuinely suicidal and  some are ,then get professionals involved.  The bottom line is if Hollande or whoever gives into the Zurich defence then it’s a card that will be played over and over. And frankly that’s not very French. Tell her that you have  more important things like the French economy to worry about and you  haven’t time to  work out whether her Kurt Cobain act is real. She’ll flounce off and get someone else in an attempt to make you jealous. Now(alors) that is the French way.

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