A bunch of whacko African Muslims kidnap 200 girls. Nigeria corrupt and inefficient hasn’t a clue. But the world twitters. It decides something has to be done. Millions sign up, Michelle Obama-blessed Michelle Obama holds up a sign Bring Back the Girls. Millions around the world led by the nearly as blessed Jolie hold up similar signs on You Tube. The whackos reply by blowing up bridges and kidnapping more girls. Haven’t they got internet? Don’t they gettit? Whats going on. I mean even the Guardian .,noting the poverty in NE Nigeria,is saying enough is enough.
Who cannot be moved by this? I am and I want to be involved, I want to help, I want to make a difference. So I make a placard, I go to the mirror I show the placard. I feel good. But nothing happens, I scan the internet for some reaction. Nothing. S o I go to the window. I cry Bring back the Girls. No reaction. Putney sleeps while the world boils. But half an hour later a police patrol car pauses outside my house, an officer looks up, shakes his head and they move on.
And then its Russia ,the pesky bear is on the prowl. Crimea, East Ukraine soon it will be Estonia and Moldavia(wherever that is). But hold on . Eurovision song contest. The crowd boo when the Putinistas sing and cheer when plucky Ukraine worbles. Putin gets it, or does he. But although he may ignore the sanction that he and his cronies will not be allowed to buy Saga shares, surely he cannot hide from the boos and catcalls at the songfest.
If only we had these devices in 1939. If Mrs Chamberlain had held up a note on Youtube saying “I say Adolf you said you wouldn’t” or Gracie Fields had sung “Smile and world smiles with you” and if these were not enough we could have thrown in Max Bygraves singing “When you’ve got friends and neighbours you are the richest person in the world”. Who knows.
You have to laugh. Though after wasting so much blood and treasure on Iraq and Afghanistan it makes sense to admit we are totally impotent or don’t really care and twitter about on social media. We all know what the cry of the powerless is, you hear some emasculated pressure group on the airwaves every day sobbing “this is Totally Unacceptable”. And now the Commander in Chief of the most powerful force in the world and his scented wife cry that what is going on some parts of the world is “Totally Unacceptable”.
Time to get out the whisky and the Luger.
PS Boko Haram means Western Education is Forbidden. Did my son sign up to this group some time in the 1990s? Michelle help me. Link me in.