The Complete Dear Scribbler

Dear Scribbler

After thirty years of writing about business and management  for the national newspapers it is only natural that senior executives  write to me with their business problems.  Today I would like to share with you one such very common problem.

Dear Scribbler

Yesterday when I came back from a good lunch I found my  business partner masturbating in front of  a porn channel showing on his ipad. Can I continue to run a business with such a man, what should I do?

Ys James O’Nan

Dear James

First don’t panic. It is fairly normal for  top business people  after 4pm to check their Johnsons. After all later that day they will be  entertaining their clients at the Rhino Club or a similar gentleman’s frolic bar. It is always  important to check your tackle before going to such places.

Several top US banks have staggered Johnson hours so that this kind of behaviour can be managed and not disrupt the ebb and flow of daily dealing.

President Kennedy got headaches unless he had sexual activity everyday. Many alpha  males are similar. Sometimes it is not possible ,not least because of time constraints, to do any thing but go solo.

The real problem is choice of porn site. If it was  Babes in Burkas or Suburban Sluts, well and good. But I know some chaps who are turned on by Army Wives and Fat Girls Have More Fun. If your business partner is one of these, best end the relationship.

Personally I have long realised why the Guardian prints pictures of its lady columnists, Polly, Marina, Zoe and Deborah. Domintrixes all. As a white Tory voter I know that every word they write, every left wing jab, each feminist twist, is aimed at me, and the exquisite pain I feel sometimes makes it impossible for me to control myself. Maybe your partner had just read  Polly or Zoe on  why footballers make bad husbands.

 I hope this helps,

Yrs Scribbler

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s