After thirty years of writing about business and management for the national newspapers it is only natural that senior executives write to me with their business problems. Today I would like to share with you one such very common problem.
Yesterday when I came back from a good lunch I found my business partner masturbating in front of a porn channel showing on his ipad. Can I continue to run a business with such a man, what should I do?
Ys James O’Nan
First don’t panic. It is fairly normal for top business people after 4pm to check their Johnsons. After all later that day they will be entertaining their clients at the Rhino Club or a similar gentleman’s frolic bar. It is always important to check your tackle before going to such places.
Several top US banks have staggered Johnson hours so that this kind of behaviour can be managed and not disrupt the ebb and flow of daily dealing.
President Kennedy got headaches unless he had sexual activity everyday. Many alpha males are similar. Sometimes it is not possible ,not least because of time constraints, to do any thing but go solo.
The real problem is choice of porn site. If it was Babes in Burkas or Suburban Sluts, well and good. But I know some chaps who are turned on by Army Wives and Fat Girls Have More Fun. If your business partner is one of these, best end the relationship.
Personally I have long realised why the Guardian prints pictures of its lady columnists, Polly, Marina, Zoe and Deborah. Domintrixes all. As a white Tory voter I know that every word they write, every left wing jab, each feminist twist, is aimed at me, and the exquisite pain I feel sometimes makes it impossible for me to control myself. Maybe your partner had just read Polly or Zoe on why footballers make bad husbands.
I hope this helps,