God the Guardian does go on. Single sex marriage, becoming a middle aged lesbian, why men are beasts, why beasts are men, why sex change should be free on demand and so it goes. But I take the hit for the team and read it very week.
This week what caught my eye was the article about a agony aunt who at 46 dumped her husband and two children and walked onto the wild side. Started to drink exclusively from the velvet cup. Suddenly I started thinking I know women who have done the same. Decades ago, one of our oldest friends got divorced, took up with a younger lover had a child , ditched him and then married the nanny. Possibly along with a flexible sexuality she also was moving on ,as was her career into a personality where she needed to be in control. Her single sex marriage has since also ended and now she lives happily with her pet dog.
Then there is a friend’s daughter who has swung this way and that like the proverbial floating voter. The theory here being that she is looking for love wherever she can get it. There is evidence that it is the emotional satisfaction of the other which is as important as any coup de foudre sexuality change.
Another friend’s daughter has recently left her partner and two children. She has been dumped by her first sapphist partner.Looking back her mother realises that being the first girl on the block to be into piercing and tattoos may have been an indicator she over looked.
Another friend’s husband left to become a monk and she and her young son thirty years ago moved in with a senior BBC executive and have lived happily ever after. And so it goes. There are of course the high profile media characters who cross the room. I can never watch the highly erotic pick up scene in T op Gun without the dead hand of knowing Kelly is a lesbian ruining the action.
So whats happening. Is it just another of those it was always happening and we never noticed, or turned a blind eye. The gay thing has always been higher profile. Those two old biddies down the lane,the two school teachers who lived together and so on and now we know. One of my best friends from school was adopted and brought up by his doctor mother and her housekeeper. Almost certainly.
But here are some thoughts inspired by web reading. The research seems to suggest that most are bi sexual with extreme heteros and out and out homos being at each end of the Kinsey research. There is now more opportunity and more acceptance for all kinds of relationships. It maybe that women are pulled by the desire to have a family and the lesbian gene this way and that, and only succomb after the family project has been experienced.
The mid life crisis is well expressed in changing sexuality and entering a completely new style relationship. As more women enter power and management in their careers the traditional heterosexual marriage becomes less attractive.
There is evidence from tests done with sexual stimulus that women are less rigid in what turns them on. Maybe another symptom of the different types of brain men and women have.
Any way back to our girl in the Guardian, she and her most recent lover have formed a sisterhood with the “other crucially important person in my life,my daughter”….”she told me it was wonderful having two mums and that I was the bravest person she had ever met”. Pass the sick bag.
Meanwhile her ex husband and son will not have anything to with her. Maybe they read the Daily Mail.