Its All Greek
Apparently when the Greeks went to the European Central Bank with their latest proposals the bank officials fell about laughing. For crucial to the new look, really serious Greek proposals was the idea of recruiting tourists as tax inspectors. Not least because the existing guys collecting, or not, taxes have proved so useless. Well, OK that hasn’t worked. Here I suggest a few ideas which this latest band of Argonauts might try when they next sail up the Danube,
- Stop trying to look like school teachers and B film gangsters. The whole government should wear those lovely Greek costumes complete with tights, little skirts, bobbles on the shoes and great hats. Not least as with Comic Relief they should be able to raise sponsorship this way.But my contacts in shirt sponsorship say that the Greek negotiating team could be selling their shirts for “really good money”. He suggests that Wonga-pay day lenders or Malaysian Airlines-we’ve no idea where we are or where we are going, will make natural fits as sponsors.
- Many rich countries have pathetically short histories. USA and Canada start about 1500, Australia about 1790. Greece has masses of history much going back to BC. Sell a few centuries.
- Stop whingeing about the Elgin Marbles and sell the Parthenon to the Arabs. We sold London Bridge and just built another. Get real.
- You have some of the greatest world philosophers on your books. Philosophy is a growing interest.Build a philosophy city.
- Pay your tax collectors a lot more, give them generous bonuses and incentives.
- Bring back(as in China) capital punishment for corruption.
- Next time you negotiate with the Eurocrats stop posturing and pretending you have the wherewithal to draw a card and raise and just start blubbing and say you’re sorry.
- Play the jihad card. Say unless you get the money you are thinking of setting up a jihad training centre. And or sell your bit of Cyprus to the Turks.
- Give up Greek and become an Anglophone country. The bankers will love you and investment will follow, tourism will also benefit. Look what giving up French has done for Rwanda.
- Give up and turn the light out on your way out. Every drachma counts.