Animal Crackers

Vivien and I are waiting for a bus to take us to Wimbledon and the very interesting and entertaining  art film, Falling. Its does for girls schools what “If “did for boys. As we wait a pink open decker bus adorned with balloons and hooting ladies comes across  Putney Bridge. Hen party, boys on the lash, fans coming home,. No it’s the Animal Welfare Party campaign bus.

They are putting up  four candidates in  the election, all in London and one in Putney. He of course  didn’t turn up at the local hustings. Why should he, whatever the rather dire prospects of the Tories  nationally here by the Royal River, Justine  Greening is quoted as a 1/100 certainty. Second favourite Labour are 20/1!

But what of the AWP? One of its main aims is to provide “political representation  for animals”. Help me.  In the Euro elections where whackos usually do well they got nearly 1%(21000) of the London vote. Elsewhere in Holland and Denmark similar parties got enough votes to secure an MEP each. So animals have representation in Brussels. No wonder our pets sleep so soundly.

As for the four candidates. One wants to “promote healthy plant based lifestyles.” Don’t we all. Cannabis for everyone. Another puts down as one of her virtues as “being addicted to salsa.” No better way of getting closer to animals. A third states that he wants to make a “positive difference in the lives of people and animals.” This of course has been totally costed.

And so we come to Putney hopeful,Guy Dessay. He runs the computer side of ALMI group a building supplies company. Previously he worked for Coca Cola. He comes from Bromley which isn’t too far away from Putney. Ok he doesn’t do hustings, he doesnt do leaflets  but he does do campaign buses. Fine. He also  in the few facts he gives us tells us”in his free time likes to spend  time outdoors and as a member of the Vegan Runners Club”.

Wonderful. The Vegan RC web site  vets running shoes. Some have animal based glue which would hamper a vegan’s performance. While New Balance are not suitable for vegans, Ascis are OK.

So given there are several hundred  dog owners in Putney one must expect they at least to give the AWP a second look. The party’s very existence proves the  well known fact that the further we move away from working the land the more likely we are to become vegetarian, vegan and  believing that animals l have souls, a capacity for thought, pain, love, loss and the rest. I bet they get  more than 100 votes. Raving Lord Loony where are you when we need you?

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One Response to Animal Crackers

  1. You have missed the point. They only exist to make the Greens look boring and sensible.

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