Roth’s Complaint

Most Englishmen dream of having tea with the Queen. And why not , if  life does not allow you the real thing the sub conscious  provides. That’s its purpose.

But for a certain aged American it wasnt tea they were after with Jacqueline Kennedy. It was the old one two. So while reading Ruth Pierpont’s biography” Roth Unbound” I was impressed to read that just after the assassination , my favourite author Roth went on a couple of dates with the West’s most tragic queen since the Trojan wars.

So lets get this straight , a major sub plot in Roth’s many brilliant novels it is how does a  New Jersey Yid handle blue eyed girls from Connecticut. Ok Jaqui is dark haired  and from Carolina but is she up market, privately educated goy.? Yessir. So thats my point.

Roth was maybe gallant when he said he didn’t really know where to put himself. He stood around until she generously said “Do you want to come up stairs,  I know you do.”. Come on in 1964 it wasn’t only US Males who wanted to go up stairs with Jaqui, every  hot blooded bloke north of the Sahara wanted to put their arms around her and make it alright.

In the end Roth the man who made rifling through underwear a major part of Sabbath’s Theatre and continual masturbation  the major part of Portney’s Complaint admitted to a  feeble kiss “which was just like kissing a billboard.”.

Come on  Phil, you asked where the bathroom was, you rifled though her frillies, took a pair into the loo and then had the J Arthur of your life..

Any way there is a  joke about Jacqui and Aristotle, her second husband. Brezhnev  asks LBJ , how would the world have been different if he had been assassinated and not Kennedy. LBJ, looks cute and drawls, “Well I dont reckon Onassis would have married Mrs Brezhnev.”

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