Every week in The Spectator appears the Dear Mary Your Problems Solved column. Here questions of etiquette and form are answered and laid out.
Recently I went to the funeral of a university class mate. Four ladies of my generation were also present. Two I knew I hadn’t slept with, one I was pretty sure I hadnt, which left the fourth. As with the others she had married her campus sweetheart though they were now separated. Anyway we were talking and I couldn’t resist and asked her if we had slept together. She laughed and said no. That cleared the air and we had a very good time chatting away. I need to know, if being upfront after all these years is OK?
No gentleman should discuss ladies in such a way. But after a certain time the enquiry does have a genuine purpose.Though many have lived through promiscous times , since many of these liaisons happened when drunk and time is a great anaesthetic ,much is forgotten. And maybe best so. It really has little bearing on grandparents lives what they did between the sheets fifty years ago. However memories of previous potency and sexuality are always cheering-and not only for men. Many find the last stages of old age are made more bearable by reminiscing over past love affairs. If you are desperate to know and don’t want to embarrass, I suggest that when you meet, you wink and if the other party winks and smiles back then you have your answer.