Why We Lose at Football

 

 

 

 

Why We Lose at Football

The  curse of the inventor. The Greeks invented philosophy. The Romans law. The Welsh face painting. The French tennis.  The Muslims algebra. The Egyptians engineering. None today are  any good at their chosen subject . The English invented soccer.

We are true  Corinthinians. Our sporting instincts are deep and profound. We believe that playing with an effective goal keeper, someone who can use his hands, insults the spirit of football.   So we picked a well known hair dresser.

Part of this spirit means we do not like to hog the ball. When Johan Cruyff  said”I love playing the English ,they always give the ball back.”,he was like so many Johnny Foreigners  missing the point.

We love the  little guy, the underdog. We went to war for plucky Belgium, faraway Poland, the Falklands-you didn’t seriously think we were going to bully and beat gutsy little Iceland.

Many of our  players are seriously rich. And why not? Some can kick with both feet, many are handsome, some beat up taxi drivers, all are a credit to this blessed plot,this earth, this realm. But four days after Brexit and the pound still falling ,understandably these lads had something more important on their minds than a game of football.

As well many of our players are involved in charities. How could they concentrate on football when so many  Syrian children are in refugee camps, so many Iranians are  suffering and youth unemployment stands at 50% in many countries.

One day other countries will realise that there is a lot more to life than winning football matches. Until that day England and its players plough a lonely but essentially Christian furrow. Their reward may not come in this life, but it will come. Well done lads, Putney  is proud of you.

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One Response to Why We Lose at Football

  1. Nick Leslie says:

    Apparrently after playing Iceland we are playing Tesco’s next…

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