The World’s Favourite (Eastern European) Airline?

The Worlds Favourite(Eastern European) Airline?

 

Russia is most famous for bombing cities(they are not alone), shooting down airliners and crashing planes. So it was good to see that   Aeroflot in its advertising was making quite a bit of being ”Eastern Europe’s Leading Airline.”

As such it proudly boasts that in Business Class there is a “modern on board entertainment system.” So out goes the balalaika, Cossack dancing and army choruses which made Aeroflot the adventurous travellers choice.

As well “meals and beverages are served in glass and porcelain ware with metal utensils.” So those who travelled Ruski to get a bit of life in the red in tooth and claw, clawing a shanks of recently slain elk and bear with their bare hands, are going to be disappointed.

This development also means that the Huntsmen’ Special that was such an attraction on the long haul flights to Siberia is no more. In these flights a wild bear was let loose and the passengers literally club together to hunt it down, skin it and eat it raw. Now no more.

But I was intrigued by the World Airlines Award as the Best Airline in Eastern Europe. An award Aeroflot has won for the past four years. Lets not get into dull arguments about doping, vote rigging and bribery. Russia has learnt its lessons and from now on any such suggestions are crude Radio America propaganda.

One reason I am confident that Aeroflot won the award fairly is looking at the opposition. Aero Ukraine insists that its policy of live chickens running in its aisles makes its roast chicken “the freshest in the sky”.

Air Bulgaria is applying to have its main runway extended so it can take more than one helicopter. Aero Albania has   turned down appeals to put seats on its toilets “ as it would our people feel uncomfortable”. Romanian Airways has declared that its policy of children travelling in the hold is consistent with the way it runs children’s homes. Serbian Air states that allowing passengers to pack and unpack their luggage may slow things up but is far more “democratic”. Meanwhile Armenian Airways is sticking to its policy of only allowing smokers on board,” we believe in individual freedom” said a spokesman. Fly Belarus maintains that insisting that all passengers fly blindfold “makes them feel much more secure.” Polish Airlines has ceased to exist as all its personnel now work elsewhere.

So you can see why Aeroflot with its knives and forks is so successful.

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One Response to The World’s Favourite (Eastern European) Airline?

  1. Irena says:

    I see you have mercifully left out the ‘ fly OK/ fly ČSA’ motto and its attendant delicacy, the Bohemian sheep!

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