Ja Haar Oorlog

Ja Haar Oorlog

For those cant speak Dutch, this means, Yes Its War.

With the election out of the way there is nothing to stop the Dutch and the Turks stopping the Jaw Jaw and going for the  War War. The ambassadors have been withdrawn. Insults have been traded, though why didnt  the Dutch when accused of being Nazis and the sinners of Srebrinica  retaliate and talk about the 1.5 million   Armenians who disappeared from Turkey in 1915. Nice guys don’t win wars.

First there will be the tit for tat trade war. The Dutch will cease to sell tulips to Ankara and no doubt the Turks will stop selling quinces and hazelnuts to the Hague. There will be a burning of flags and if they exist, Turkish-Dutch dictionaries will be chucked on the flames.

And then its down to the real thing. Unfortunately the Turkish Army is either somewhere in Syria killing  Kurds or somewhere in Turkey doing the same thing. They cant be spared. The Dutch Army who served in Bosnia, Kosovo(uhm),Iraq and Afghanistan is highly unionised and needs notice of any hostilities.  There is also a health and safety issue over the driver only tank.    These problems  can be sorted but they take time.

In the mean time cyberwarfare will take place. Here the Dutch have the upper hand. Not only do they have one of the world’s foremost electronic industries(Phillips etc) but they have  one of the world’s foremost porn industries. No one goes to Amsterdam just for the canals and the art.

So every computer in Turkey will be hacked and soon will get a large dose of when Helga met Jan and his dog Spot. After that what happened when the plumber(loodgieter) came round to the nurse’s( verpleegkundig) flat.

Now the present Turkish cod dictator is trying to create a modern theocracy. Instead of learning why the Koran is relevant in todays cyber age,little Mustapha will be asking his sister Djamila, why is he putting his pee pee into her whim yam. Err what does it taste of. Can you do  oral sex wearing a hijib? Must you shave? Is it sinful if you do it holding the Koran and or keeping your shoes and socks on?

So, those pesky Arabs had better watch out, when the  Dutch mean business they can be ruthless. After all (non union) von Tromp did the business against the Royal Navy.(see link) Ok that was  400 years ago, but hey, whose counting.

Naar Overwinning(Onto Victory)







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5 Responses to Ja Haar Oorlog

  1. “Die loodgieter ond die verpleegkundig”? Doesn’t sound very sexy to me.

  2. Rob Pemberton. says:

    If you are looking for a real Dutch hero look no further than Pieter Pietersen Heyn (Hein) Captain/Admiral who would have given Drake or Raleigh a run for their money. There is a well known song about his exploits particularly the capturing of a Spanish Ship’s Silver cargo.

  3. Wim Denslagen says:

    ‘Ja, het is oorlog’ would be the correct translation. It is not necessary to attack Turkey, because the country is destroying itself.

  4. itwonthurt says:

    Dutch I am afraid is not even my second language, Google must take the blame.

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