1967 and all that

1967 and all that.


We are celebrating the 1967 Act which allowed queers to do their   business “as consenting adults in private”. Before then, these acts, which my child bride and I only discuss with the lights out, were considered “grossly indecent. “.

I am packing my bags and will be going down to the local police station,that is if  I can find it. I must say goodbye to my loved ones and all that is dear to me. I must throw myself at the mercy of the courts and expect to spend many dreary months taking Class A drugs.

For too long I have been weighed down by the shame. For at school I committed “grossly indecent acts.” Now H, L and S may be able to sleep at night but, that teenage fondling with members(!) of the same sex is a crime for which I must pay. As we say in the Winchester if you   cant do the time, don’t do the crime. It is the moment for me to become clean,  wipe the slate, pay my debt to society, confess all and start again.

No longer will I have to live a double life, fearing for my marriage, the scorn of my children,the cruel call from a black mailer, I must come out of my quasi closet and face the cold air. The torture of my heavy secret must end. This is why with my over night things in my hold all I approach the Putney Police Station. Whatever happens, a weight will have been lifted and I will be a free man.

The constable is facing in a northerly direction. Good afternoon sir, what can we  be doing you for?

I have come to hand myself in for crimes committed sometime between 1960 and 64.

And what crimes might they be sir?

Crimes against humanity, sins against nature, crimes for which  I am  forever shameful


With other boys all under age I committed grossly indecent acts,I must do the time, pay  my dues

But sir if I am getting you right these acts have not been illegal for some time

But then, they were not only against school rules  and the law but against the rule of God

That was then, the law and even God changes

But I was a sinner, my crime was against nature itself,I must pay the price.

Just a minute I’ll get my sarge

Now sir with all respect I think you are wasting our time, we have to go on victim visits and set up a speed trap.

But can I at least have a Royal Pardon?

Sure,now Fuck Off. (sotto voce) What a Wanker.

Scene closes with Chaplin like figure walking alone, bag in hand, over a deserted  Putney Bridge. 100 year old Vera Lynn sings “We’ll Meet Again”.

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2 Responses to 1967 and all that

  1. I am shocked. At university in 1964 the authorities made me share a study bedroom with you. I was a naive grammar school boy. If I had known your dark past I would have asked to be moved.

  2. Johan VAN DIJK says:

    A wonderful and funny read. You ought to write a tongue in cheek(?) book about the times at the old place and the culture then.

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