On the eighth day,He created Tory chaos

On the eighth day ,He created Tory chaos.


In the beginning God created heaven and earth. It took him six days. Well there was a lot of evidence around that it may have taken a bit longer. So Peter said “one day is like a thousand years”. Whew. So it took 6000 years, thats more like it but still doesn’t explain everything. But it gave a bit of wriggle room, which creationists  always need.

So we come to among other verses, Leviticus 20:13 “If a man shall lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman,both of them have committed an abomination ; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them”. To use a pun, not much wriggle room there. But for most the Bible is an authorative book, a guide  rather than The Law.

But not to the fundamentalists who dominate the Ulster Protestants. And herein lies the most beautiful mess the Tories find themselves in. Theresa the vicar’s (CofE) daughter needs the support of Arlene(DUP) the Ulster policeman’s daughter; however the only ray of sunshine in the Tory firmament is Ruth, the footballer’s daughter(Partick Thistle) from Scotland. Now Arlene and her DUP stopped gay marriage in Ulster,not fearing a blood bath but claiming rather archly that the gays don’t want it. But of course Ruth(lovely Biblical name) is not just the Tory’s most successful politician but very openly gay.

Now Arlene and her father  were both blown up by the Catholic IRA. This has  strengthened her resolve to “Never Surrender.” Now there was a time when the Protestants of Ulster feared the more populous Irish Catholic theocracy taking over. Now as  Ireland has morphed into a successful modern state with few of its old Roman inhibitions, the Ulster Protestants represented by the DUP officially remain marooned in their dour chapels preaching eternal damnation,  glorious marches and fear of the future. Made even worse by the fact that Ireland now has a mixed race, gay Prime Minister.

Just to rub in Arlene’s problem, Ruth one time Protestant Sunday school teacher is engaged to an Irish Roman Catholic girl. This is not politics, this is a far fetched film script.  Should it play as comedy, rom com ,Arlene and Ruth fall for each other and or Mr May? Theresa gets into a hussy fit as she is left out the threesome. Or just the obvious blood bath with Corbyn striding in as the good doctor? Love it.

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6 Responses to On the eighth day,He created Tory chaos

  1. Rob Pemberton. says:

    “If a woman shall lie with womankind as she lieth with a man ‘ is not mentioned in Leviticus 20:13 Therefore I imagine Arlene will be thrilled for them.

  2. It’s one of the lovely ironies of politics that the DUP’s confidence and supply deal will do more to moderate Brexit and austerity than Labour’s ranting. Isn’t fudge the greatest British confectionary?

  3. itwonthurt says:

    The evidence of the last four votes is that the British electorate doesn’t prefer,in any meaningful way, either side. They are saying why don’t you try and work together. If they don’t then maybe the established parties should look across the channel and see what happens.

  4. Barbara says:

    1 – Call referendum (at a cost of £142m) on Brexit to pacify small group of Conservative Party Eurosceptics and stem voter flow towards right-wing nationalist nut-jobs UKIP, even though they have just 1 seat in parliament.

    2 – Accidentally lose referendum and divide the country along new fault-lines for a couple of generations

    3 – Call General Election (at a cost of £130m) to grow your limited majority of 12 by capitalising on perceived weak opposition

    4 – Accidentally lose General Election to an unstable hung parliament

    5 – Form coalition government that will ONLY have a working majority of 2 seats by doing a deal with even more nut-job harder right-wing DUP that has 10 seats.

    The last 12 months have worked out really well for the centrist Conservatives.. and at just £270m all this was an absolute bargain for taxpayers in the U.K.

    54% of votes cast were AGAINST the Conservatives in the General Election.

    As far as I can remember, 52% was the “Will of the People” but I could be mistaken..

    Courtesy of Steve Machin

  5. Johan VAN DIJK says:

    I understand (I really don’t care about it) that England showed their bridge building skills on Europe by losing a football match in France.

  6. itwonthurt says:

    show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser!

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